


you are lovely [oh, devine]

by if_my_words_were_art



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Cute, Depressed josh, Kisses, Lovely, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Sad Josh, i try okay, past trauma, trust me taco bell is the moral of this story, tyler brings taco bell, ugh idk what else to put
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 14:37:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10362630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/if_my_words_were_art/pseuds/if_my_words_were_art
Summary: Josh hasn't been in contact with Tyler for over a week.So Tyler brings Taco Bell.





	

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning for implications of rape/molestation.
> 
>  
> 
> on a less depressing note: hello and welcome to a fic thats a fic that tries to be a good fic but is merely a fic that is a fic that is meh.

Frowns, Tyler decided, are not meant to be worn by Joshua Dun.

He knows this because of all the times Josh wore a smile that gave energy to the sun. He knows how bright and optimistic his best friend is, so when all his calls had been left unanswered, his texts too, and Josh hadn't smiled in over a week, Tyler knew something was wrong.

Of course Josh isn't the type to spill all his deepest, darkest secrets in an instant. So that's why Tyler brought a bag of Taco Bell over to Josh's apartment, obviously trying to butter him up.

Tyler noted the front door was dangerously unlocked as he entered, clicking the door softly in place. His heart slightly quickened at the sight of Josh's living area being dirty: clothes and tissues astray, smudges of food dotting the surfaces. Something was seriously wrong. Something, Tyler suspected, that was worse than a simple cold.

"Josh?" Tyler called out softly, walking forward in the vacant apartment. A small sniffle alerted Tyler and drew him to the bedroom. He rapped his knuckles quietly against the door and heard a cracked, "Come in," before he entered.

The shades were drawn, blocking any light and casting the room in permanent darkness. Various plates were scattered on the ground with half-eaten meals: most microwavable or otherwise effortless concoctions. Strewn with them were more tissues and clothes, trailing up to the bed where Josh was slumped under a mass of blankets.

"Josh?" Tyler called uncertainly. "I brought food."

Josh peeked up and gave a smile that was fake, as it didn't crinkle his eyes in its usual way. "Chipotle would've been better."

Tyler shut the door behind him and sat hesitantly on the edge of the bed, passing the bag of food over. "You haven't answered my texts."

"Oh, sorry. My phone hasn't been working," Josh lied, Tyler spotting the lavk of truth in his words.

Josh pulled out a burrito and took a small bite to chew. His hair was matted and flat against his head, his eyes crusted over with sleep sand. Tyler grew worried.

"Your place is a mess," Tyler pointed out,  gesturing to all the littered items.

"Is it? I haven't noticed." Josh took another bite, setting the food down afterwards.

"You look tired," Tyler commented,  watching Josh groggily leave the bed and lead them to the living room.

As soon as he had plopped on the couch, he responded with, "Yeah, just been staying up late is all."

Tyler sat across from Josh. "I don't believe you."

Josh's eyes shot up. "What?"

"I don't believe a thing you're saying."

Josh gave a small, dry laugh. "I'm telling the truth! Why would I lie, man?"

"I don't know. You tell me." Tyler stared at Josh, who started looking away.

"S'nothing," whispered Josh, staring at his off TV screen. Tyler could see clear tears form in his eyes slowly, flooding them without pouring over.

"What's wrong? Please talk to me," Tyler said quietly, moving closer.

A sob cracked through the air and Josh burried his face in his hands, crying. Tyler leaped forward and embraced Josh, hugging his shaking form and whispering sweet nothings in his ears.

Tyler hated the sound of Josh's misery, loathed the sobs that echoed and bounced back and forth. He gripped Josh with all his strength because Josh should never, ever feel so small and hurt like he did now.

After several minutes of Joeh choking on his breath, he managed to cry out, "I-I-It's so g-gross."

"What is, Joshie? What is?" Tyler asked, pulling him in closer.

"W-What h-he did," Josh sobbed out, covering his face.

Tyler felt the color drain from his face. "What happened?"

"I don't-t... y-you'll think-k-k b-bad of me," Josh whined out.

Tyler could witness Josh kill someone at that point and he'd still see him as an angel. "No, no, no I won't."

After a beat where Josh didn't respond, Tyler pressed, "Please talk to me."

"H-he hurt-t me, you k-k-know? And I was-s-s just-t so young-g. And m-m-most of the time I'm ok-kay, but sometimes i just-t... I, I," and then Josh started howling again, unable to speak. Tyler rubbed circled onto his back, kissed the top of his head,  whispered, and whispered, and whispered.

"I-I... I think-k I'm gay," Josh hoarsely stated. "And-d it's b-b-because of him, right? Cause of what-t he d-did? That's why I'm so gross."

"No," Tyler denied, almost about to cry himself. "No you're not. Josh you're divine. Josh, you're --you're lovely, okay? And I still love you, even if you're gay or whatever because you are lovely. "

Josh wiped his eyes and finally looked up. His almond beauties were now irritated and puffy, as if a dragon had spit in them. "You don't u-understand how much that hurts."

"What?" Tyler breathed.

"To say you love me as a friend, when I f-f-fucking love you in so many more ways." Josh just stared for a moment, his hair sticking up and his eyes leaking stray tears. Tyler swallowed the lump in his throat, his cheeks burning.

"Joshie," he said quietly.

"Shut u-up," Josh demanded, covering his head again. "Shut up and let me h-hate myself in peace."

Tyler didn't know how to speak his thoughts, how to turn the mixed fragments in his head into a perfect sentence. He wanted to say so much in so little words. He wanted to say that Josh was the best thing in his life at this point. He wanted to say Josh should never be forced into such a dark place. He wanted to say that when Josh laughs he feels his soul rise. He wanted to say that Josh has given him the world and he has nothing to offer but a few stars.

So he said, "I love you," and meant it.

Josh looked up and glared with suspicion.

"I love you, Josh, really," Tyler said, unable to meet his gaze. "I really do and I don't know how to tell you that you deserve the galaxy and all that is beyond, that every time you smile I can't breathe and that your voice is a lullaby. I really, really don't know how to say that you are all that I have left, and that you make me reconsider staying alive everyday."

Josh blinked, wiped his eyes, and gave a sheepish smile. "That's so cheesy."

Tyler let out a pent up breath.

"Shut up," he said lightly, rubbing Josh's hair.

Josh leaned back and hugged himself, staring at the ceiling.

"It was when I was ten. I was at the public pool. I had finished swimming and went to shower. And he was there. And he had me pinned." Josh's voice began to shake. "And I wanted to die. And after that I couldn't talk so good. I lost friends because I couldn't stay in touch. I didn't make any new ones 'cause I was so afraid." Josh lowered his head and stared at Tyler. "He got out of prison two days ago."

Tears slipped down Josh's porcelain cheeks, and Tyler kissed them away without really thinking about it. And when the salty droplets were gone, he leaned forward and kissed Josh with his lips. A moment later he pulled away.

"Yeah, I'm gay," Josh said and they both bursted into giggles.

"And I'm not-straight, nice to meet you," Tyler said, causing more laughter. Josh smiled a real smile and melted into a hug with Tyler.

"Thank you," he said, barely audible. "I don't deserve you."

"That makes two of us," Tyler replied, kissing the untamed curls on Josh's head.

That's the beautiful thing about broken people:

Two broken people can make eachother whole.

 

**Author's Note:**

> oompa loompa rhymes with chalupa.


End file.
